The Kitchen Sink

Now that this blog is private, I thought I'd share some classic snapshots of Mara in the kitchen sink! She grew out of her infant bath thingy and isn't quite ready for bathing in the new bigger, deeper tub without some sort of plastic apparatus, so it was back to the kitchen sink. She expressed her obvious joy to be back in the sink again with much splashing and squealing and by grabbing everything in her reach, which is why the counter around the sink looks like we have just moved in to the house. Normally, there's a cactus, coffee maker, frog spoon rest and various scrubbers right by the sink.

Anyway, thank you for following me to this "members only" mode where I won't have to worry about whether it is legal for me to post pictures of Mara online-- and see, I can call her Mara again instead of "Baby Grrl"! Plus, I can fill you in all the latest news...it seems like I have so much to share that I am about to burst!

For starters, weekly visits with mom and the three older sisters have been suspended for the four and seven year old girls, because they are reconvening a forensic investigation team for one more round of interviews. There have not only been allegations of sexual abuse (SA) by the husband, but now the girls are saying that older sisters participated in SA and physical abuse, possibly even having to do with Mara's injuries. So a Detective, Forensic SA Investigator, the GAL and Denver County Case Worker will meet with the girls and their current (third) foster mother for one more round of interviewing..."their last shot" as the Case Worker put it.

Another development is that I was asked if we are still interested in adopting Mara if her parental rights are terminated. I said YES of course! And Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) was mentioned at least four times at the home visit last Wednesday, even though the Case Worker said the case is still "very up in the air" and almost hinges on what the two sisters say in their testimony. He still insists that Mara will be in foster care for "a long time" and "at least six more months".

And finally, all three of the teenage sisters are back home with mom, living in a small apartment. Luckily, there are two bathrooms. The girls seemed wild as always tonight, the mom looks happier, and the oldest girl who is sixteen updates me on things having to do with school E.g. what grades she ended up getting. The other two girls failed out of almost all of their classes and one of them is in Truancy School. She will most likely be in ninth grade again next year with her sister who ought to be in twelfth...it's very sad. The Case Worker referred to them as being "lost causes" and I just wanted to slap him (then I felt like crying, because I know he is somewhat right). I had suspected that they were trying to get the three older girls home with mom and then get the ball rolling on TPR'ing with the three younger girls, and now as it unfolds it's so horrifying. The reality is that very few foster or adoptive parents want teenage black girls who skip school to have sex.

Mara's mom, whose name is Linda by the way, told me tonight that it was her best visit with Mara ever. Probably because she is at a really cute age (one of my very favorite ages...I just adore curious and independent nine month olds!) and the four and seven year old girls were not around to compete for Mom's attention. Mara insists on being the center of the universe at all times, and of course she always is around our house! We ALL dote on her, even the dog does. It's really kind of disgusting. I realized when my youngest sister, her husband and six month old nephew were over on Sunday, that Mara is our princess and we may need to start treating her like a normal little girl at some point or we will have a real diva on our hands! It has been so easy to indulge her, what with all that she has been through and overcome.

Did I mention that Mara has TWO TEETH which emerged SIMULTANEOUSLY and that she is WALKING?!?! She was walking about a week before she was nine months old! She is AMAZING! We absolutely love to watch her grow and learn, especially as she uses baby signs. She signs for all done, bottle, bye-bye, hi, I can't hear you, and up (which looks a bit like almost falling over backwards and is accompanied by "bup! bup!")

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. My heart feels like I'm on a high wire constantly. Our life is so enmeshed with this little baby girl's that I cannot imagine her being with anyone else but us-- I AM HER "BABA MAMA" FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!-- but we'll see what happens. Bio Mom goes back to court June 26-- and asked me to go and speak up for her-- but I am not sure if that is a Permanency Planning hearing or what. I would think that if it was, we would have received a letter about it again, but I don't know for sure so I will have to call the GAL and find out.

I have been asked to keep taking detailed notes about visits and conversations with mom and the sisters. My journal may be subpoenaed at some point, and that's another reason it's crucial for this blog to be a place of protected speech for me.

Stay tuned, dear readers! And more than ever, thank you for listening.