Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ortho Worry


I don't even know where to start so I'm just going to type it out while it's fresh in my mind. I'm feeling a jumbled mess of emotions and worrying way in to the future, so I need to sort stuff out.


When Tomorrow had X-rays that showed her femurs were "lining up very well with lots and lots of new bone growth," I expected to be told what was the next step in her treatment plan, but instead was told, "So, we won't need to see her again!" I think my jaw not only hit the floor but actually went through it and fell all the way down to the basement which was three floors below.


  • We had been told she may be in the body cast for up to three months (she was in it for a week).

  • We were told that she'd be in the Pavlik harness for a couple of weeks (she was in it for one)

  • We were told that when her bones were lined up better, they would most likely re-cast both legs (they didn't).


I've wondered all along if we were rushed through the whole Ortho process because Tomorrow is on Medicaid; and because for her first few appointments it was still pending, maybe they weren't sure if they would get paid anything at all for treating her. I have definitely felt that we weren't treated the way I would have been had I brought one of my boys in with our Blue Cross Blue Shield Federal Employee Plan (FEP) which pays for a great many things and quite nicely, too.

What haunts me is a kind of nonchalant comment that was made at the end of Tomorrow's last Ortho appointment. A doctor who is supervising (it's a teaching hospital) said that if Tomorrow wasn't on Medicaid, she probably would have had surgery and would have pins in her leg (the left femur which had the worst, spiral, fracture). And then in the next breath he said, "But Medicaid likes us to do things a certain way, and we don't like to do surgery on little ones if we can avoid it. Besides, she is healing as well as can be expected and probably won't have any long-term problems from her injuries."

Probably isn't good enough for me. I want to know for sure that her bones have healed as well as they possible could have and that there is nothing more that can be done for her in the future.

I want to know: Is Tomorrow getting less or "less than" health care because she is a foster child on Medicaid? -OR- Do children of parents with good insurance have surgeries that aren't needed? Goodness knows that was definitely the case with our first "born" child and my "Unnecessarean". {One time co-payment for maternity health (s)care: $10. Failed Induction with Cervadil and Pitocin: $1,000. Cesarean surgery two days later: $16,000. Male Genital Mutilation: $2,000. The American Way of Birth: Priceless.}


But alas, I digress...

Clearly, I'm confused about whether Tomorrow's prognosis was really good or they just aren't willing to do anything else for her. Maybe it's both. Maybe her outcome really is good. I don't know.


All I know for sure right now is:

1) I think we need to discuss this at our upcoming team meeting,

2) I still want her to keep going to Children's Hospital for continuity of care,

3) I see that I will need to be a vigilant advocate for her when it comes to health care, and

4) I want to have at least one more Ortho appointment *with* X-rays at Children's Hospital.


You'd think twenty-four broken bones would warrant twelve visits. If I were her doctor, I'd want to see her every month for a year. But then, I'd also want her to have physical therapy.

And it all comes back to the simple fact this is why we decided that we'd take her. We are giving her unconditional love...massage, physical therapy, and Reiki...safety and security... all for free.

Because healing shouldn't be contingent upon receipt of money, and love is free.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Been Busy Bonding!

Tomorrow's favorite new position is forward-facing (a.k.a. "kangaroo carry") in the Moby Wrap. Today she watched me shred spaghetti squash, peel and chop butternut squash, and prepare oatmeal craisin cookie dough and dough for dog biscuits. The only thing I don't like about this carry is not being able to see her cute little face so we go look in the mirror when I need a fix. ;>)

The Cutie Patootie bib was a hand-me-down from Miss Cass and is my FAVORITE! Tomorrow has a bunch of bibs but that is the only one that truly catches it all as it is almost like a dickie. If anyone knows where I can get these type of bibs please let me know.

But the best part: Hammy took these photos!



Yikes! I haven't posted for a while! I guess I get so immersed/involved in the moment/in the real world I forget there is an online world. I have just been busy living life and loving my kids!


Tomorrow is doing really well and being her foster mom is THE BEST JOB I HAVE EVER HAD. Ariel determined her to be a "Level Three" which has a $1,000 monthly stipend so I will not have to return to work at Home Instead. Which is good because I cannot imagine squeezing one.more.thing. into my day right now. Moose told me a few weeks ago what he likes best about Tomorrow being with us is that I don't have to go to work anymore and I can just stay home. "Mom, you don't have to work anymore!" he told me with glee. So how could I burst his little bubble by informing him that being a SAHM/WAHM (stay-at-home-mom/work-at-home-mom) is a 24/7 job with no insurance, comp time or vacation *and* that I am underpaid and overworked?!


Anyway, short post long, it seems that the more we attachment parent Tomorrow (we honestly don't know how to parent any other way), the more she expects her needs to be met instantly! ;>) She keeps us on our toes with her almost constant need for social attention right now. We know that the way she *yells* at us and expects to be held and talked with almost constantly is a testament to our parenting style. She is a smart baby who won't settle for being stuck in her bouncer seat or swing for very long. She will put up with one or the other for just about the amount of time it takes me to use the toilet! Sorry if that's TMI but it is the truth! The fact that I have all but abandoned this baby blog and the seemingly Herculean task of checking my email are both good signs, too. No news in this case is very good news. I could write a book about the frustrations I have with the "justice" system and Denver County Human Services (*not* Ariel), and I probably will someday-- but for now, just know that we're all well.


Oh! Except Mike will be out of town for a few days. So keep us in your prayers/thoughts. I'm nervous about being on my own with three kiddoes but I try to think of so many women who do it every day all year long under the worst of conditions and somehow that gives me strength.


All the Love to you all.