It sounds like crazy making, and it is!
Today we did our annual update to renew our therapeutic foster family license so we are still an open home for a baby or child in foster care. And all I would have to do is call the Placement Coordinator at Ariel and tell her we want to go on the openings list if we decided we want to open our home to another baby or child in foster care. (Like say, for instance, a sister for Tomorrow.)
I had texted the Placement Coordinator, "Rochelle", that I didn't want to renew our license -- I have my hands full with raising up the three kids we have, especially with Tomorrow starting homepreschool this year --but of course she called me and in her sweet little voice somehow talked me into staying licensed. She told me about another family we know that thought they were done (they've adopted three or four kids from foster care) and then had a change of heart and decided a few months later that they wanted to adopt another child from foster care. They're in the process of re-applying and they have to do EVERYTHING over again. Like I said, we know the family -- they also homeschool, and we cared for a three-month-old baby boy one weekend that they ended up adopting -- and if they could change their mind I know we could, too.
In my heart of hearts, I don't feel that our family is complete. Mike and I have talked a lot about having two boys and two girls, with the utopian vision that it would bring more balance or symmetry to the siblings. Our thinking is that each child would have a sister (or two) and a brother (or two); and, theoretically, there would be no middle child (or two of them?!) and every one would always have a buddy. You know, for amusement park rides and boarding Noah's Ark and other such important life events.
No but seriously, while she tries her darnedest to keep up with her big brothers, Tomorrow is often left out of activities that the boys engage in for which she's deemed too young to do. Or, more often than not, she simply wants to do things that they don't enjoy, such as dancing ballet and playing with dolls. She has told us herself that she wants a sister who will play in her room with her. When she recently saw her baby cousin from Missouri who is a girl, she told me "I wan one uh doze bay-bee gulls, Momma." Even the boys have said they wish we could have another baby *if* it is a girl. Mike can hardly stand to hold babies he wants another one so badly. And I won't lie, I've got baby fever something awful with a ticking biological time bomb about to go off.
Someday, when I'm ready, I may make that call to Rochelle. I've given away all the baby clothes and cloth diapers, so I'd have to start all over again, but I have the basics that every baby needs: tireless arms for holding, a mei tai for babywearing, and a penchant for singing lullabies.
You may think I'm crazy for even thinking about having another child, and you're right.
I'm crazy about babies and children.
