Why We Need More "Helicopter Moms"

A list sister of mine from ICAN recently had a close call with a son who strayed a bit too far away, just out of sight. She found her older son talking to a man who acted strange and then drove off...a very close call. Many of us supported her on her blog for 1) listening to her younger son who let her know that her older son was out of sight, and 2) empowering her sons to fight hard *and* think their way out of an abduction or near-abduction situation. This is part of my comment on her blog post:

"I have to be honest with you though. *I* deplore *the phrase* “helicopter moms”– and kinda the book in which I first read it, Parenting With Love & Logic (a gift from my stepmom). You know why I’m a “helicopter mom”? Because I was almost abducted when I was five, and because my little sister was molested by a trusted babysitter’s husband when she was five.

I am ultimately responsible for my children’s safety. I take that responsibility very seriously. I don’t mind if someone thinks I’m hanging around them too much. My kids would disagree. I don’t hover around them all the time, I don’t tell them how to eat or what to do or think, and I give them more freedom than most parents at home. I allow them to do and think for themselves as much as possible so they can learn natural consequences in a safe place, where I can make it better and help them clean it up and then get it all out and set it all up again tomorrow. But even when I do let them roam, like you did today, I am all-ways connected. Some may say I watch them like a hawk. That’s okay, but it’s my calling. It’s what I do, and it’s who I am. I am their mother. I feel it in my solar plexus when something is off kilter. And that’s born out of being around them all.the.time.

I say, let’s reject the theory that being a “helicopter mom” is so negative. Helicopters swoop down and rescue people stranded in flooded cars being swept down rivers, and on top of flooded homes after levees break. Helicopters get very seriously injured people to hospitals so they can get the very best medical attention possible. Helicopters save lives. So hell yeah, I’m a helicopter mom! Deplore me if you must. I can’t change what my heart tells me to do for my wee ones. I’ve learned to listen to my Mother-gut, and she tells me to stay close. For now."