Safe Sleeping

An old comment of mine that I just found on "Mama Is" http://www.mama-is.com/ Forgot I had commented there and was reading all the comments on "What word is this, Co-sleeping?" when I realized one of the comments was mine! Haha!

Jessa
September 19th, 2008 @ 12:06 pm

Awesome thread and excellent brainstorms! I love SYNC, cuz I just love it when acronyms say something. Dreamfeeding seems to be a common thread and resonates with the Lakota momma in me. Just saying “dreamfeeding” soothes me…as I recall many nights of blissful, uninterrupted, bedtime breast-sharing. (how’s that? I know, I know, such a phrase– pure and true as it is– would only serve to reinforce their theory that we’re all crazy pervs).

We shared a (king size) family bed with both of our biological sons, practiced ecological and extended, tandem breastfeeding; our second son breastfed for three years and three months and is the healthiest of us all. Now, we take turns sharing a room with our foster daughter.

Our sons now co-sleep with one another (sibling bedsharing) in their own room which works out wonderfully so that our foster daughter doesn’t feel left out. Plus, they use the top bunk for toy storage. They love having a place to put all of those little LEGOS and tiny things that their sister wants to eat.

The sad part is when one of us adults is in “The Big Bed” (does any other families call the main bed that?) without any other humans. Luckily, we also live with a faithful dog who is an Australian Shepherd and Border Collie and thinks he is a human child. I guess you could say we “petbed” with him?

The hospital would call what we currently do with our foster daughter “rooming in”– and as much as I hate most.every.single.thing. about the hospital culture, having had an Unnecessarean in one (followed by a glorious HBAC with a skilled Midwife in a state where Midwifery was illegal)– I have to admit I like the phrase “rooming in” if only because it implies what it is for us at this time, because I sleep in a day bed and my daughter on a trundle just below. By law, we’re not allowed to co-sleep with her; and by law, she has to sleep in her own room by 18 months (we may not have adopted her by then); we did not want to share the burden of creatively speaking or omitting the truth with our naturally honest children who are questioned by case workers at every turn.

Because we do supplement her diet with (organic) formula (and I pump, too), I would need a phrase like “Facilitation of Nighttime Feedings” (FNF). Since mainstream pediatricians and out-of-touch medical associations seem to like anything with the word “feedings” in it (as long as a breast is not mentioned), it’s accessible for all.

I remember reading a humorous article in a parenting magazine when we were in Hawaii in which the father described various sleeping arrangements and what amounted to a complex and somewhat acrobatic game of musical beds each night. The moral of the story was that he did not care who slept in what bed nor with whom, so long as everyone was SLEEPING.

And I WILL use: ‘As child advocates, we choose not to practice barbaric cry-it-out or sleep isolation techniques.’ THANK YOU, AMY, for the tip! Nothing feels so good as subverting dominant paradigms!

You all are so creative, and I’m glad to finally be here! I’ve followed Hathor (yes, cult-memberlike way) for a few years now and am happy to see this new revolution of her!

LLLOVE you, Mama!