It used to be that my theme song on Mondays was "I Don't Like Mondays" or "Manic Monday"...I used to dread Mondays, and I would start dreading Monday on Sunday...but not so much as of this week! This week my song is "Getting Better". Short story long:
Since Mara came to live with us over a year ago, her weekly supervised visit with her bio family has been on Monday. A few months after Mara came to live with us, Liam transferred from one Options School site to another--moving his one school day a week from Friday to Monday. Mondays for the kids used to start at 7 a.m. and end at 7 p.m. Of course for us parents, the day started much, much earlier and went much, much later (especially when Heroes is on). I had communicated to the County Case Worker and to the Case Aide that Mondays were very stressful for our family, and were possibly the cause of weekly night terrors for Mara, which she would have every Monday at 10:30 p.m., as her brain was trying to fall into a deep sleep state after having her naps interrupted all day or napping in the car; but every time, I was told that there was no other day that we could have her visit, even though I was available every.other.day.of.the.week.at.any.time.of.the.day. I explained our situation to her Case Worker and to the Case Aide several times, but they both seemed to think it was manageable and did nothing to have it moved to a different day. It amazes me how the County bends over backwards to make the visit convenient for Linda-- it is literally across the street from her apartment so she can walk, and it is on a day and at a time that is best for her. I had spoken with a friend who is a foster parent, and she suggested that I put in writing a thirty day notice that Mondays would not work for us any longer. the very day I was prepared to do that, I received a call from the Case Aide saying that the visits were being moved to Friday evenings for now. She apologized for the fact that the visits would have to be on Fridays, forgetting that I had said Fridays would be great! You see, when you are a homeschooling family, as my friend Heather says: "Every day is Friday"! (Except the night before the one day of school per week at the Options School).
Fridays would be better for many reasons, only one of which is that our "kidsitter" is more available then for watching the boys at our home, so that Mike and I can get a much-needed break from all three kids and a decent meal on Fridays. Finally, this may actually occur-- unless the visits turn out to be on Thursdays, of course.
Anyway, Mondays will no more be spent in the van from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. or later. It is still the day that Liam goes to Options School but at least now we don't have to pick Liam up 2:45, then Mike at 4:30 and get Mara to her visit in Montbello by 5 (with 225 Northbound rush hours traffic) and dine at the BK Lounge or McD's when we all really want to be at home after getting up at 6:30 a.m. Life can be challenging with one vehicle and a growing family, but it's worth the effort to make less of an impact on the planet while experiencing the blessings and joys of life with more than one child. Because more kids = more laughter; just ask any parent with kids!
So instead of frantically rushing to get Mara changed and fed so I can go get Mike from work in after school and rush hour traffic, while praying that Mara falls asleep on the way and sleeps until her visit, if the boys would only stop bickering in the back seat; I am sitting in the back yard listening to the happy sound of kids playing and leaves falling. Because I begged him to let me "sleep in" this morning with Mara/take Liam to school at 8:45/then come back for Mara, Seamus and I so we could take him to work and have the van to get Liam at 2:45, I don't have to pick him up until 5:30 (if you followed that, you're probably the mom of more than one child and/or less than two vehicles!) I think I'll suggest dinner at Chick-Fil-A since we still have a free birthday meal coupon for Liam and there's a new CFA on Smoky Hill Road (just past Southlands by the new Walgreen's). I had a repeatedly interrupted and mostly sleepless night with Mara waking to play at midnight and Seamus sleepwalking again, so I need to take it easy tonight.
Nonetheless, I am grateful today. I'm grateful for Mara's two-hour nap this afternoon. I'm grateful that I had enough time to talk with Liam's school director...about him being sent to talk with her...for talking too much...in Language Arts. I'm grateful for less rushing around today-- not because I can't do it, but because it means less stress on the kids who do not deserve to be shuttled from one point to another like baggage when they need time to wake up slowly, to eat a peaceful breakfast, to play outside, and to sleep whenever they're tired.
"It's getting better all the time..."
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