"Goodbye Visit"

Tomorrow riding in a Care Bears doll stroller from her birth mom --

it is one of TWO doll strollers she has given her!

Today the Case Aide who supervises the weekly visits called to tell us that birth mom's "Goodbye Visit" will be Friday at 4:45. She asked that we stay close in case it gets out of control and she has to end the visit early. That doesn't help my anxiety at all!

Part of me is so sad for the birth mom, that she will not get to see three of her daughters anymore (unless we choose to make arrangements for visits within an open adoption-- which I am not too keen on right now, given her mental/psychological state).

Another part of me is relieved that we will not have to deal with the aftermath of the visits anymore. I almost feel guilty for feeling that way, but we have put up with a lot of negative behavior and I know for sure it is associated with the visits and I always have. When the visits end, if Princess Tomorrow's behavior is markedly improved I will not be willing to resume frequent visits. Perhaps quarterly or yearly? I am not sure. It depends on a lot of different factors, not the least of which is mom staying in Denver. She has talked about moving back to New York when this is all over so we'll see it if is even an issue.



I won't miss newly stained clothes every Friday, that's for sure! I pack bibs-- even the kind that are smocks for painting-- in the diaper bag, but apparently they do not get used. I like to dress her in outfits that her mom has given her-- but if they are really cute clothes, and they often are, I don't want them to get stained. So I've resorted to sending her in clothes that are already stained, although not hideously so, or probably even apparent to most people. As my DH can tell you, I have a bizarre knack for remembering not only where/who every piece of her clothing is from but if it has a spot or tear on it, and how it came to be.

I plan to make Tomorrow's birth mom another photo album, but not the scrapbook I had considered making for her. For one thing, it's not done. And for another thing, the components (all from Close To My Heart) are so pretty and were so pricey that I want to keep it for our own family heirloom.

Once again, I am going to make the birth mom a photo album filled with pictures of Tomorrow being held and loved by her family members. I would like to include as many pictures as I can of her with extended family members, if that would be okay with you all. I will email you each individually for your permission-- but I know for sure I have some good photos of Aunt Jen and Nana with her that I would like to include.

I've been nodding off while typing this so I am going to collapse now!

Here are a few more pix of our little rock star wearing Ariel (Little Mermaid ) Princess sunglasses which were a gift from her birth mom...