Visits Schmisits!

The above artwork was drawn by Liam, age 5. It is a picture of "Us picking up Mara from the hospital and taking her to our house". Our house is the ark-like structure.

So the Case Aide calls us on the 7th and says, "There isn't going to be a visit on the 25th so I have to make it up by having a longer visit, or a couple of them if needed. For the first one, you can choose between the 11th and the 18th."

Then before I can even call her back, she calls again with this message: "The first make-up visit has to be on the 11th so please have The Baby there at 4." ("The Baby" normally naps from 2 to 4 p.m., what about that? Seems like bringing a cranky baby to the visit is a recipe for disaster but we'll play along cuz we have to do so).

I arranged for a sitter (luckily ours wasn't back to school yet) and Mike managed to get out of work early despite the very short notice, while I bent over backwards to get everyone ready and have dinner in the fridge for the sitter to feed the boys.

When we got there, NO ONE else had bothered to show up. The Case Aide finally showed up but said Mom wasn't there yet. TOO BAD! We were there and we were not going to make up time just because everyone else didn't go along with the plan.

A few days later, the Case Aide calls and says we have to do another longer visit on the 18th. I told her Liam doesn't get out of 1st grade until 3:45 so we couldn't possibly get there until 4:30 at best (which is why the visits are scheduled when they are...DUH). She called back and said 4:30 would be fine.

When we arrived this Monday, and called to let her know we were a block away, she sighed loudly and said, "Okay, call me when you get here because I have to bring the older girls down with me to get The Baby, since I can't leave them alone with Mom." I said, "No really, we're only a block away, so if you head downstairs we will be pulling in by the time you get there." Then she was standing in the parking lot by herself, without the girls. I don't know what was up with that and am left to guess that she ended up leaving the girls with Mom after all, even though she isn't supposed to -OR- Mom and/or the other girls weren't even there yet AGAIN (more likely). Plus, she was acting all exasperated as usual. She all-ways looks like she is about to have a breakdown; and this is on Mondays, so I have to wonder how she looks by Fridays?!

Also, even though we had arrived promptly at 4:30 as I had said we would, she said we could pick Mara up at 6:45. That's an extra fifteen minutes-- why? THEN she tells us, "By the way, there IS going to be a visit on the 25th after all, but if you already have made plans and want to tell me that you can't make it, then Mom will just have to deal." AFter the visit, when she's had time to talk to the other foster mom, she says, "Okay, no visit on the 25th so enjoy the night off."

I'm left to wonder if this had anything to do with the Democratic National Connvention being in Denver that week (as she had eluded to earlier) or if it was a personal conflict for which she now no longer needs the evening off. And does she even have the authority to lengthen the visits? They are court-ordered for one and a half hours once a week, so it seems that anything longer or more frequent would have to be court-ordered. But what do I know? I am just a mushroom parent (they keep me in the dark and feed me shit, get it? except it's actually not funny).

Needless to say, it's all very frustrating-- and we are only fostering ONE child. I can't imagine dealing with this runaround with three different visits like some foster families we know. It must be thrice as hectic.

Either way, I look forward to these visits being over. They are yet another reason to foster legal risks kiddoes that nobody wants. Give me a "CHRP Baby" with a cleft palate or Down's Syndrome whose birth mother doesn't want to see her! Bring it!