The Latest Bureaucratic B.S.

I don't want to get my big girl panties all in a bunch today, but I do want to blog about "where we are" (social workers love to use that phrase) in the adoption process...for my book if nothing else. I will often post in my Facebook Status Updates about the daily happenings, but I don't want to neglect to come here and flesh it out a bit before I forget all of the inane details of the bureaucratic purgatory in which we've found ourselves.

We had a Team Decision-Making, or TDM, meeting here at our home last month. Present were Mike and I, the kids, our Ariel Case Manager Michelle and the Adoption Worker Donna. It was a caomedy of errors with the Adoption Worker telling us all abouthte adoption process and what she has "just found out" that she has to do: The Presentation of the Child. This is a meeting in which she will present to us the child's history, including abuse/neglect, foster placement(s) and the long-term financial, medical, physical and social needs of the child including any referrals for therapy.

Can you imagine a relative stranger telling you all about your two-year-old's infancy and the current as well as future needs (which you have already thoroughly considered)? And this is yet another meeting that can be postponed, especially because it is on their turf. I don't know if kids are welcome but we plan on bringing all three of ours just to liven things up. Ought to be funny.

Anyway, back to the meeting. The topic that we spent the most time discussing at the TDM meeting was our Home Study. The Case Manager from Ariel had brought a copy for us to read and sign. Mike read it, laughing out loud at one point*, and then signed it. But when it came my turn to read it, I was astonished at how many factual errors were contained in the first paragraph about me alone, so I refused to sign it (and asked who I ought to speak with about the fact that it was so inaccurate and poorly written on top of that). So now, another meeting this Friday. I LOATHE how they like to have meetings about every.little.thing. Why couldn't I simply submit my issues with the home study in writing? I've just this moment decided I will, and I am going to tell them I am not going to drive an hour in traffic Friday morning with my three children for *their* incompetency. Their mistakes should not inconvenience us.

*What Mike had laughed out loud about was that the person who wrote the homestudy wrote, "Michael's father has decreased his drinking." And you could say that he's decreased his drinking, since he is DEAD.

I'm so riled up about this right now that I can't blog about it any further. I took detailed notes while reading the home study, because we are not allowed to have a copy, so I have a written list of the numerous errors (I stopped at two pages). I'l share them here when I've been able to put enough distance and/or time between myself and the gross errors to calmly type!