After visits, we all do it. Tomorrow looks at us and smiles her crooked I'm-only-smiling-because-I- know-it's-the-socially-acceptable-thing-to-do-right-now smile while simultaneously looking as if she is about to cry, then usually laughs and then cries. She is verrry clingy-- and those of you who know me well, and how much I love babies, know that I normally would not use the word clingy to describe babies who simply want to be held. Clingy = I cannot put her down, in a desperate way. Not just that she would rather be held or worn, but as if she is screaming DO NOT LET ME GO. It feels like fear. It looks like fear. It sounds like fear. Of course, we just hold her. We kiss her. We tell her we missed her. We let her sleep on us (she will normally sleep in her crib for the first three hour nap of the night but not after visits).
Yesternight her bio mom gave Tomorrow some hair cream that contains hormones (mink oil, anyone?), a hat and mittens in size 2-4T (the T is for toddler), size 4-6 socks (she is a size 2), size 1 moccasins (?), a pair of red and pink Nikes (!), a Tweety Bird (for ages 3+) that dances and sings I Want Candy, and a Dum Dum (lollipop) "FOR HER TO TEETHE ON".
My knee-jerk reaction was to call her Case Worker, but I decided I was over-reacting. The woman apparently has no clue what is developmentally appropriate or nutritionally sound, and doesn't even know what size Tomorrow is wearing. Notes to self.
3 comments:
how long does it take Mara to settle down? hugs to you all, Hope
I guess it depends. She looks much less panicky the instant we have her in our arms, and is superfussy in the van (I think she just wants to be held but there really isn't anywhere for us to hang out); then she always passes out on the ride home. If she had napped well and eaten, seems to be the night only. If anything is off, such as her being tired at the start of the visit, then the visit seems to throw her off to the point of tainting the next day. :>( We gave the Case Aide a disposable camera at the last visit and asked her to take pix of all the sisters and mom, preferably holding Mara-- so maybe putting those pix in an album for her will help to make them more familiar faces? I can only hope. Thank you for the hugs! A great big bear hug to you, Hope. It means the world to me that I have friends like you and Heather by my side on this journey. Peace, Jessa
and i actually told our ariel case mgr. about the dum dum just now on the phone, and i felt like a tattle-tail while doing it, but i also know that everything bio mom does & buys points to her thinking-- and as long as she'd give a five month young baby a lollipop to teethe on, she just *can't* get custody of her. it's a safety issue, b/c she could choke & die! so there. i feel a bit better.
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